What Really Matters...

I had a completely different post ready to submit, but then last night, my perspective changed.  I had been freaking out over the nursery, the bedding, and everything else relating to the nursery. I had the perfect bedding picked out (Sweet JoJo Designs Bumblebee Designs) to incorporate my grandpa and my mom into the nursery and I was super excited about it. We ordered it before Thanksgiving and it took a really long time for it to arrive. However, once it arrived and I saw it, I was super bummed. The yellow around the quilt looked mint green and so did a few of the bumpers. How could this be? I called the company and they assured me it was the right set.  They asked me if I wanted to return it... I did plan on returning it, so I set out to look for another bumblebee set, but that turned out to be impossible. Who knew finding a bumblebee crib set could be so difficult?!

After a mini panic attack about not finding anything as meaningful or cute as our original set, I went on Facebook. At that moment, I saw a former coworker's post about the birth of her sweet baby boy, Phineas. You see, this coworker has struggled with infertility for three years, gave birth to twins at 24 weeks who passed away, and has been through hell and back several times. After I saw her baby, it hit me that it didn't matter if the nursery was perfect, or if the yellow was the exact color I dreamed of... what matters is that come April (maybe even earlier) is that I can hold our precious baby in our arms.  What matters is that I can kiss those chubby cheeks, cuddle his/her sweet body, and love him/her more than I ever imagined. 

After this wave of reality hit me, I laid down on the couch and listened to our sweet baby's heartbeat on the doppler.  Listening to the heartbeat was all I needed to remind me of the precious gift inside of me and it reminded me that none of the material stuff matters. As I went into the nursery to look at the crib bedding, all of a sudden it looked yellow. Yellow like I had pictured. Yellow like it was supposed to look. I brought the crib stuff into other parts of our house and it still looked yellow. I'm not sure what happened, but I think God had a special plan in this. I think He needed me to remember what's important and to let go of the materialistic things because in the end, none of the really matters.

On a completely different note, I am 25 weeks today and I have my 25 week ultrasound/glucose test tomorrow morning. Thank you for the continued prayers and for being such great friends. God bless all of you!

Until next time... God bless!

Baby J Update

Good afternoon, friends! Thank you for your sweet messages, e-mails, and texts regarding our dear little one. I don't know if I have ever been so worried over something before in my life.  The thought of something being wrong with our baby was disheartening and made me throw up several times. Thankfully, I only had to wait 48 hours until I saw the MFM doctor, because honestly, there is no way I could have waited until January when he was visiting next.


Anyway, as far as we know, everything is fine with Baby J! At the appointment yesterday, the doctor had limited views of the heart because the baby wouldn't cooperate, which doesn't surprise me because I am quite stubborn, so why wouldn't our baby be stubborn?  She did see the outflow tracts and has no concerns about those, or my fluid levels, at this time!  She isn't sure why the other doctor said my fluid levels were high on Monday, because they were completely normal, so I had all of that worrying for nothing.  I meet with this specialist again in 6 weeks and hopefully things continue to go well! Thank you so much for your continued prayers for our baby!

I can't thank God enough for performing miracles and for our dear friends and family who never stopped praying or thinking positive thoughts. I will say that I had a hard time staying positive, but this only further proved why I need to keep praying and staying positive. One thing this scare taught me is that nothing is ever given to us and we need to keep praying for what we want. Sometimes, I think I get too comfortable with how things are going and I forget to thank God for what we have and for what we want. Although I feel awful saying that, it is the truth, but it is something I am going to consciously work for. 

 Thank you from the bottom of my heart and God bless all of you!

Katie

 

Prayers and Guidance, Please...

Good morning, friends! I hope this message finds you well and in good spirits. I wish I could say the same, but honestly, I am a nervous wreck right now. We had our ultrasound recheck yesterday, to make sure everything was fine from the first ultrasound, but the tech found some concerns.  

First, she was not able to detect the outflow tracts from the heart.  This could be because the baby was active or because there is an abnormality, which could mean heart surgery, heart defects, etc.  Second, my doctor said I had quite a bit of extra amniotic fluid, which could be normal, or could be a sign of downs syndrome, genetic abnormality, blood incompatibility, etc.  Both of these concerns could be nothing, so that is what we are praying for... praying that God gives us a healthy baby who we have longed for, prayed for, cried for, and hoped for.  We know God can work miracles and He has a plan, but honestly, I am scared. Why does this have to happen to us? I realize it could be nothing, but why, after everything we've been through, do we have to experience this?  I know this sounds conceited and snotty, but we deserve a healthy baby and a stress-free pregnancy. I know so many others who have been through similar journeys and their journey has been tried and tested, too. I don't know where else I am going with this...

Obviously we are extremely nervous and scared, so they set us up with a Maternal Fetal Specialist on Wednesday morning at 9:00. At this appointment, we will meet with the physician, go through an extensive ultrasound, and pray for positive results.   It has been a long journey to get to this point, and we know God is in control and has a plan for us, but we are still very scared.  If you wouldn't mind, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and we will definitely keep you updated once we know more.  Since I'm pretty new to the blogging community, I don't have too many readers, but if you know someone who has been in this similar situation or has any advice, would you please direct them here? Thank you for always being there and for you unending support and encouragement, I greatly appreciate it. 

Until next time... God bless!