Our Background...

Well, today begins our new journey in trying to have a baby.  After our first miscarriage (8 weeks 9/20/11), I wanted answers as to why things went wrong so they wouldn't happen again because honestly, I didn't think I would be able to handle the emotional pain from the loss of another baby.  After countless doctors appointments with Dr. N, he said that he had no explanation for why we miscarried and we should try again.  I was very hesitant about trying again, but we wanted to be parents, so we had to.  

After 11 months, we finally got pregnant again and to say we were excited would be an understatement.  With that excitement, however, came extreme worry.  Would this pregnancy end badly? Would we get to take this baby home?  Cory, and my doctor, continually told me not to worry because we had no reason to believe this would end badly.  Well, being the type-A, need-to-be-in-control kind of person that I am, I wanted an ultrasound, and blood work, to make sure everything was fine. (Boy howdy am I glad that I did that so I could at least see our baby once, when he/she was alive). When we had the ultrasound, the tech said our baby was measuring a week behind schedule, but that wasn't anything to be too worried about because I could have ovulated late and not been as far along... I knew better than to believe that.  I finally told my mom I was pregnant (I wanted to have a cute gift and such for when I told her, but I needed her prayers more than ever).  She instantly began the prayer process and helped calm me down, which isn't easy.  Well, long story short, on December 14th, 2012, we lost our baby (8 weeks).  My emotions went from sad to absolutely angry.  I really don't want to go back to that place right now, but I will say that my heart hurts and I yearn for that baby.  I wonder if our baby would have been a boy or a girl? Would he/she look like Cory or me? Would he/she come early, around the 7/4, on his/her due date 7/16, or late and on my best friend's birthday 7/26? So many unanswered questions...

However, the answer to all of my unanswered questions is that I know God is watching over us and I know He has a plan for us.  Although I have a hard time believing that at times, He has always been there for me, regardless if I see him or not.  After our second miscarriage, I wanted had to take control because I was not going to put us through this again, if I could prevent it, which led me to our new plan...

God bless!