Landon's Birth Story... FINALLY!

In case you didn't see it in my other posts, I am going to make my blog private. Although I don't want to, for the safety of our little guy, I need to.  There are too many creeps out in this world, so if you want me to add you to the list, PLEASE comment with your e-mail address and I will add you to the list.  I am new at this, so it may take me a while, but that is the plan!
 
Man! I sure wish I would've written this right after he was born because I feel like I am missing bits and pieces... oh well! I am absolutely head over heels in love with this little person that my husband and I created. Although he has been here for eleven weeks already (that went WAY too fast), it still doesn't feel real, like we are just playing house. I could sit and stare at him all day because every time I do, I notice something different about him. I'm sure it will just be a jumbled mess, and I can't guarantee I remember everything, but here goes it!

On March 14th, I went into Labor and Delivery (L&D) to get checked out because my feet were extremely swollen and my blood pressure was getting higher than it already had been. Prior to this day, I had normal blood pressure, no swelling, no protein in the urine, nothing... I had a healthy pregnancy. The L&D doctor was going to admit me to the hospital because I had protein in my urine and high blood pressure, but he said I was the best incubator for the baby and he thought it would be okay for me to wait until my appointment with my doctor on Monday- I was nervous, but I had to trust him. He told me to have the car seat in the car (silly, doctor... it had been in there for weeks :) and he told me to bring my clothes to the appointment because more than like I wasn't going to go home. Cue freak out! I stayed in the recliner all weekend and did very little movement because I didn't want to risk anything.

On March 17th, I went to meet with Dr. Thorn and his response to the protein in my urine and high blood pressure was, "You've been through too much to risk anything, so let's have a baby!" He said that since I wasn't dilated and only 37.4 weeks, it was going to be a long 24-48 hours... I thought he was kidding! This was me heading to the hospital:

It was St. Patrick's Day, hence the green! I was SO excited, but little did I know that I was in for the ride of a lifetime!

Once we got checked into L&D, they hooked me up to monitors, did some blood work, and gave me Cervidil to help soften my cervix. My doctor said I was completely closed and tight, so it was going to be a long 48 hours. I kept telling them that there was no way I would be there that long and I was ready to get the "show on the road!" Ha. Ha. Ha. I was clueless! After 8 hours of Cervidil, my cervix was still completely closed and tight, even though the Cervidil should've softened my cervix. I did 4 more hours of Cervidil, but to no avail... In addition, this medicine was causing me to have contractions, that I shouldn't have been having, so I was in excruciating pain with no real purpose! Here is what hung out of me:

Gross!

A new doctor came in and said he was going to give me a Foley catheter to soften the cervix and help me dilate.  The catheters goal was to get my dilated to a 3, so I was excited! The process of inserting the catheter into my cervix was awful! Imagine a tube going into your cervix and then a balloon filled with saline and then the balloon expands and a tube hangs out of your crotch...

AWFUL!

After 8 hours, I was SO excited because I knew I was getting closer to meeting Baby J and being done with the labor process! When they pulled the catheter out, it was not fun, but I didn't care because I was ready for my baby! Unfortunately, the catheter did nothing for me, so I had to do another 8 hours of it. I was not a happy camper.  After 4 hours, the catheter fell out on its own, which got me excited because I thought I'd be dialated to a 3 or 4... nope.

At this point I was ready to quit. It had been 24 hours and I wasn't getting anywhere. I tried to remain positive:

I was in SO much pain!

The doctor decided to give me Pitocin and after 6-8 hours (can't remember exactly), I was dilated to a one. THIRTY hours and I was only a one! The doctor said I should've been at least to a five, so he was worried this wasn't going to progress. I kept trying to be positive, but it was really hard to do so. With the catheter and Pitocin, I was having contractions every 2 minutes and they would last for 30 seconds. Cory was so helpful, and he tried to help me with them, but nothing was helping! 

After 4 hours of Pitocin, the doctor broke my water (crazy weird feeling) and told me I had 24 hours to get fully dilated or I would need a c-section. I was determined to get things moving, so I upped my walking...

Just walking the halls... trying to stay positive!

My contractions started coming every 2 minutes and they lasted for 70-80 seconds.  I don't think I've ever been in so much pain! They weren't able to give me an epidural, since I wasn't dilated enough, so it was hell! After 4 hours of this, I was so angry! Why couldn't my body do what it was supposed to do? The doctor gave me a pain medication (can't remember the name) which made me feel like I was a drunk pirate. It was the BEST feeling in the world and Cory got some funny videos of me explaining that we should get rid of alcohol and everyone should take this pill because they wouldn't have hangovers... I think I was losing it. By this point it had been 38 hours. I was able to sleep with this medication, so when I woke up, I was at 40 hours and only dilated to a 3. FORTY hours and only a 3! I kept going and pushed through the contractions, which lasted for hours, but by now, it had been 42 hours and I was so exhausted. The doctor came in and explained that she didn't think I was going to make it to a 10 because my body wasn't progressing and they couldn't give me anything else. They had given me everything they could to get me going, but my body rejected everything, I was devastated.

Can you tell I was ready to be done?!

Once thing I haven't mentioned is that at this point, it was determined that MY doctor, the doctor who had been with us from the beginning, the doctor who had been our hope, the doctor who helped restore my Faith, wasn't going to be able to perform either the c-section or the delivery because he wasn't on call. Therefore, not only was I angry it had been 42 hours and I was only dilated to a 3, but I was now sad our doctor wouldn't be there for us. I continued to fight and walk, in hopes I would dilate more, but nothing was happening.  I pleaded with the on-call doctor to tell me what to do and she said if it were her, she would do the c-section, but she understood my hesitation. She said I had 12 hours left until I would need a c-section because I couldn't risk an infection with me or the baby. I asked her to leave and to give me time to come to terms with whatever decision was best for us. 

I remember crying. No, sobbing. I didn't want a c-section because I had fought so so so hard. I had tried everything in my power to have this baby naturally, but my body couldn't do the one thing it was supposed to do.  I remember clinging to Cory and just crying. He was crying. We were both so disappointed in what was going on, but he remained positive. He said that ultimately we just want a healthy baby, and if it meant Baby J came by c-section, then that's what it had to be. I agreed, but I was so sad. Well, at noon, on March 19th, after 44 hours of hard, painful labor, I made the decision to have a c-section.  This decision was not made lightly, but I had to do what was best for our family.  I didn't want to wait another 12 hours and end up having an emergency c-section, so at noon, it was go time. One thing that also helped with my decision was that my doctor, Dr. Thorn, cancelled all of his appointments for the afternoon so he could assist with the c-section! Do you see why I love this man so much? Seriously, he is amazing! I felt so relieved he was going to be there and all of my worries went away! Thank you GOD for this man and his impact in our lives! I meant to get a picture with Dr. Thorn and our baby after birth, but I forgot, so here they are fours weeks later:

Cory got dressed and I had the nurse french braid my hair since I looked like crap and I wanted to look somewhat decent after we met our baby! The nurse just laughed at me and said she had never done this for someone. At 1:00, we headed down to the operating room. Cory had to stay out until my spinal block was inserted and I was ready to go. The spinal block took a long time, but once it worked, it was the coolest feeling ever

They started cauterizing my stomach and that was weird because I could smell something hot, yet I couldn't feel anything. As they opened me up, Cory came in and started taking pictures/videos.  (Those pictures are all on the regular camera, so I don't have any right now). At 2:00 p.m. Landon Jay Jakubek was born and it was the most beautiful feeling ever! I cry thinking and reliving it right now! As they pulled him out, they said, "It's a boy" and I started crying! The minute I heard him cry I started sobbing! I couldn't believe our little miracle, our Baby J, our SON was HERE, on this earth, healthy, and ready to meet his mommy and daddy! He was 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and 19 inches long!

They brought him right over to me and I was able to see his bright eyes and kiss his sweet cheeks.  This is something I was super bummed about with a c-section (not being able to hold him), but having him next to me was worth it.  Then they took him to get cleaned up and Cory was able to be by him the entire time.  After they got him measured and cleaned, we had about twenty minutes together as a family and it was wonderful.  He was the most alert baby I've ever seen, with the brightest eyes ever. After those twenty minutes, they wheeled him away with Cory and the doctors took care of me. 

Bright eyes!

At one point, as they were stapling me up, I started to hyperventilate because I couldn't really breathe, so I started throwing up. Thankfully they were right there with a bucket and I threw up in that. They used 12 staples and then they put a wound vac over the incision to prevent any infection.  The wound vac was annoying because I had to bring it with me where I went and it was a little painful, but it did prevent an infection, so it was worth it.  Here is what it looked like:

The white part is what was glued over my incision and then I carried the machine with me- Cory called it my jump starter!

After I was all stapled up, they brought me to the recovery room and I was exhausted. Although I wanted to see my baby right away and be with Cory, I needed that hour to lay down and try to sleep. 

So, there you have it! After 2 rounds of Cervidil, 2 rounds of the Foley catheter, 2 rounds of Pitocin,1 water breaking, and 44 hours of labor, Baby J was born and become Landon Jay! Thank you for your continued prayers as we embark on this journey in parenthood. I continue to pray for those of you struggling with infertility because my heart hurts! It isn't fair that this has to happen to any of us, but please know that I will be your prayer warrior and keep fighting for you, even when you don't feel like you can fight anymore.  

Cuddling with him, hours after he was born!

Daddy and Landon

Our Family!

Thank you all and God bless you, friends!