Breaking it Down Part Four...

Well, I've reached the last part of the poem, What God Meant, and I think it is one that I struggle with the most, but yet one that makes me the most excited.  These are the words to the last part:

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment.

I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could ever experience the joy that I know awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.

I know God has this super special plan for me, and although I feel blessed that He has this plan for a select group of us, it is still hard to believe at times.  I truly believe that God knows how badly we long for a baby to hold in our arms, a toddler to play at the park with, a preschooler to teach the alphabet to, a school-aged child to help at night with his/her homework, a teenager to disagree with, and a college student to help pave his/her way. Obviously this is only a teeny glimpse of what parenting is like, but I know God knows how badly we want to be parents to a child on earth.  Since we (infertiles) have had to overcome so many obstacles to even get pregnant and become mommies, it is inevitable that no other fertile woman will ever be able to feel that sheer happiness and joy that we know we will have.  Is it bad to say that? Maybe. However, no one can judge unless they have been in our shoes and know the pain and heartache we have gone through.  

I truly cannot wait until the day our baby is placed in our arms whether it is through our own birth, surrogacy, or adoption.  I know God wants me to have a baby and be a mother, but His plans and timing are just a little different than my own.  My mom always says that I will be a mother to a baby on earth and I will have a child, and even though it is hard to always believe that, I do know that moms are always right :) I sure hope I get that "always right" gene whenever I have a child.  

This poem is one that has truly helped me throughout my journey.  Even though my journey is nowhere near being over, it is nice to look at this when I need comfort when I am feeling lost or sad. Thank you to the author of this poem because this poem has not only helped me, but many others, too.  

And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."

 Until next time... God bless!