9 Weeks...

Well, it has been a couple of weeks since I've posted, and honestly, I'm just scared to believe that I am actually pregnant...even though my ultrasounds show I am. I think a lot of it has to deal with my past miscarriages and how they have robbed me of my innocence.  I love this baby SO incredibly much, more than I ever thought I could; he/she consumes my every thought and makes me giddy when I think about our little family.  I thought I was the only one, but I think it has hit Cory, too.  When we were shopping at Target, I started to browse the baby section, like I always do.   Normally Cory would roll his eyes and follow behind me, but on Saturday, he started looking at the strollers, picked one of them off the shelf, and said he found the perfect stroller for us.  It was this little gesture that made me smile.  Then today, as we were cleaning out my closet, he said, "I just know our baby is a boy and I am willing to bet on it." I think it goes to show that he is also thinking about out baby as much as I am :)

On Friday, August 30th, we had the opportunity to see our baby at the 9 week ultrasound.  I was so nervous going to the clinic because I was scared that we wouldn't see anything and because I didn't feel pregnant anymore. However, my fears were eased when we saw our precious little one, saw the heartbeat, and HEARD the heartbeat! I had no idea we would be able to hear it so soon, but it was the most amazing sound I have ever heard! I wish I would have recorded it, but I guess I'll do that next time. My mom and step-dad were also able to be with us, so that was pretty special for them!  The tears flooded for a long time and I didn't want to leave the clinic at all. 

In all this excitement, we have had some sad news; Cory's dad passed away on August 23rd, 2013 after a 5 month battle with lung cancer.  He did chemo for a few months and it all went away, but about a month ago it came back and had spread to his lymph nodes.  He went into hospice on the 21st and they told us he had anywhere form 4 weeks to 4 months to live. However, after we got up there at 3:30 on Friday and were able to spend a few hours with him, he passed away peacefully. I am at a loss that he is actually gone and that he won't be here for Cory or our future child. However, I know he is in heaven watching over all of us and keeping his loved ones close. Cory spoke at his funeral and it was an incredibly powerful message and I am so proud of him.  He said his dad gave him courage, which I couldn't agree more.  

Well, school starts tomorrow and I have fixed feelings about it.  Normally I am really excited, but I know how stressful it can be and I just don't want it to be too stressful where it can jeopardize my health.  I am trying to come up with a plan where I can take 10-15 minutes out of my day to just be... take in all that God has blessed us with and listen to the sounds of stillness. I am excited for the school year, but I am also apprehensive, too.

Until next time, God bless...

Without further adieu, here are a few pictures of our baby bean!

He/she measured 2.08 cm, and by the end of the week, he/she should be 2.25 cm or 1 inch!

 

 

The heartbeat was 178, so I'm predicting a girl, but honestly, I don't care what gender it is :)

Dr. Thorn said we needed to have a circular yolk sac and he was impressed with baby bean's! Uff-dah