It seems somewhat weird to write to you, just like it did when we wrote to Taylor, but I am your mommy and I felt the need to write to you. Today would have been the day you were expected to grace us with your beautiful presence, July 16th, 2013. When the doctor first told us your due date, I was excited because it was so close to your aunt Ashley's birthday, which is on the 26th. Secretly I was hoping the doctor was a little off and you would share the same birthday with my best friend and one of your favorite aunt. I wasn't looking forward to being 9 months pregnant in the summer, but I would have been pregnant for much longer if it would have meant that you could be with us today.
As I reflect back to the short 8 weeks we had you, I can't help but smile. Like Taylor, we were so excited for you and we were so thankful that God had finally blessed us with another little one. However, I had a hard time getting too attached because I was scared we would lose you. Regardless, your daddy was so excited he could hardly contain himself. Despite being scared and afraid, I loved you and wanted so desperately to get to know you. What would you be like? Who would you look like? Would it be a quick labor? Or, would it take a long time? Would we have a lot of visitors? Would you love your nursery and the home you were going to be raised in? All of these, and then some, are questions that I wondered in your short 8 weeks with us.
Like our first baby, Taylor, we felt the need to name you, so it seemed real and like it actually happened. It may be hard for others to understand this, but it gives us reassurance/proof that you were a part of our life. When deciding a name, it was hard to come up with a gender neutral name that was fitting for you. After thoughtful discussion, we came up with Casey. It seemed like a sweet, innocent name for a baby taken too soon. So, from here on out, you are our Casey, our little one, our baby J #2. I love thinking of you and Taylor and the joy you filled my heart with. Although it was only a short amount of time, you were so loved by your daddy and me.
Here is the only picture we have of you. The doctor said you are that beautiful little white image in the middle of the screen. What a beautiful baby, our baby!
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This poem says it all...
We completely trust in our Lord and know that Jesus just wanted you in Heaven so He could enjoy you. He has such great plans for you and we firmly believe in the plan He has for us. Although it is hard for us to believe it at times, our Faith is what has gotten us through these difficult years. I know that we will have a baby in our arms someday, and even though it is taking longer than expected, we know God has a hand in it. I look forward to meeting you in heaven and I hope and pray you can enjoy the playground in heaven. Your mommy and daddy love you so much and they miss you even more. Please watch over us and continue to give us the strength to keep on trying.
All our love,
Mommy and Daddy
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